~Selus

The voices in my head had been singing this song for so long I had to find it and post it. Emilie said it is the most depressing and Bruno was worried that this is what I feel - I told him not to be silly and I neglected to mention that this is what I feel most of the time. I have a strange feeling Luna feels the same.
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Francis Cabrel "C'éTait L'hive"

Elle disait: "j'ai déjà trop marché,
mon cœur est déjà trop lourd de secrets,
trop lourd de peines".
Elle disait: "je ne continue plus,
ce qui m'attend, je l'ai déjà vécu,
c'est plus la peine".

Elle disait que vivre était cruel,
Elle ne croyait plus au soleil,
Ni aux silences des églises.
Même mes sourires lui faisaient peur,
C'était l'hiver dans le fond de son cœur.

Le vent n'a jamais été plus froid,
La pluie plus violente que ce soir-là,
Le soir de ses vingt ans,
Le soir où elle a éteint le feu,
Derrière la façade de ses yeux,
Dans un éclair blanc.

Elle a sûrement rejoint le ciel,
Elle brille à côté du soleil,
Comme les nouvelles églises.
Mais si depuis ce soir-là je pleure,
C'est qu'il fait froid
Dans le fond de mon cœur.
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Translation:

She said: "Allready I walked too long,
allready my heart is too heavy with secrets,
too heavy with pain."
She said: "I can't go on anymore.
That what awaits me, I have allready lived [through]
It doesn't matter anymore."

She said (that) living was cruel
She didn't believe in the sun anymore
nor in the silence of the churches.
Even my smiles scared her
It was winter at the bottom of her heart


Even the wind has never been colder
[or] the rain more violent then that evening
The evening of her 20th birthday
That evening when she put out the fire
behind the windows of her eyes
in a white flash

She must have gone to heaven
She is shining next to the sun
Like the new churches
But if since that day I have cried
It's because the bottom of my heart is cold
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Outside, it is a lovely sunny day. Yesterday I saw Gardai singing and went to see an uplifting movie, so I am ok for now... but voices in my head still sing.

And sing

and sing.